Picture this if you will. A lovely spring day in 2016, the breeze in your hair, hanging out riverside with your chums and enjoying nature.
Then, someone had the bright idea to play ultimate frisbee.
I went to college. I know what a fraternity is. I know what their second favorite non-drinking game is. You consider yourself a person of many interests, but being a part of the ultimate bro-down is not one of them.
But then, you realize something critical. The one thing that could convince you to partake in the favorite pastime of every guy named Chad whose ever lived: There are girls watching.
The light bulb goes off in your head. You’re four months into a breakup and this presents a perfect opportunity to show off your tremendous athletic skills for all the single ladies watching. You can do this. You weren’t the first string bench warmer on your high school JV basketball team for nothing ... you were the first string bench warmer because your high school basketball team had a no-cut policy.
“Alright,” you declare. “I’m in!”
This is it. This is your moment to get over what’s-her-name and show your dominance. Let the frisbee commence!
45 seconds later, you take a frisbee right to the face. You’re in considerable pain and the ladies you were trying so hard to impress have split into two factions. One, the ladies checking on your medical well-being and feeling sorry for you, and two, the ladies laughing their butts off at the guy who just took a frisbee to the face. Either way, you come to the realization that attempting to impress the ladies with your lack of frisbee skills probably isn’t the route for you.
Now, five years after the fact, I’m not saying the story that you read was about me. However, if I were forced to testify in court as to who that story pertained to, I may have no choice but to commit perjury.
This story takes us to this week’s Hart of the Matter: There’s a disc golf tournament this weekend.
The Fairbanks Disc Golf Association is hosting May the Snow Be Gone at UAF this weekend. The tournament begins Saturday morning with registration opening at 9 a.m.. Any and all are welcome to participate and female scores will automatically be included in the Women’s Global Event and receive a Global Score. More information can be found on the Fairbanks Disc Golf Association’s Facebook page.
Disc golf isn’t the only thing going on this week, though. There’s a ton of stuff to get to and only so many column inches to do it in. Here’s the rundown.
Prep soccer got the ball rolling this past week and they’re in full swing this week. All soccer games will be played at FYSA. The action starts tonight at 5:30 as the Lathrop boys take on the Delta co-ed team at 5:30 and concludes with the North Pole boys taking on Eielson at 7:30. Wednesday night will see the Monroe and Lathrop boys play at 5:30 while two games go on at 7:30. Those games will be Eielson-North Pole boys and Monroe-Lathrop girls.
Thursday will see West Valley and Wasilla face off in boys and girls games at 5:30 p.m.. Things get crazy Friday with Delta-Eielson at 3:30 p.m., Lathrop-Colony and North Pole-Wasilla girls at 5:30 p.m., and Lathrop-Colony/NPHS-Wasilla boys at 7:30 p.m.. Action concludes Saturday with Lathrop-Wasilla girls (10 a.m.), West Valley-Colony girls (11 a.m.), Lathrop-Wasilla boys (noon), and West Valley-Colony boys (1 p.m.).
The final week of the wrestling regular season is on with big events this week. West Valley, Delta, and Hutchison will head over to Ben Eielson on Wednesday for Eielson’s wrestling tournament at 5:30 p.m. while North Pole will head to Lathrop at 6 p.m.. Lathrop will head to West Valley on Friday with weigh-ins at 5 p.m. while Delta and Valdez will head to Glennallen for a tournament Friday-Saturday.
In baseball, there’s a lot to look forward to this week. North Pole and Monroe will play at Newby on Tuesday at 6 p.m. before Lathrop hosts Delta on Wednesday at 5 p.m. at Arco. Lathrop will make the road trip to Colony on Friday for a 7 p.m. game while West Valley will take on Wasilla at the same time. Saturday is a busy one with Hutchison and Delta playing at West Valley at 6 p.m., Colony and West Valley playing at a time TBD, and Lathrop and Wasilla doing the same.
In track, North Pole High School gets a break from hosting duties this week as the local schools will head to the Palmer Invitational Friday and Saturday. Hutchison will not be attending.
Rounding up prep sports is softball, which began this past weekend with the Rally in the Valley, but starts in Fairbanks this week. Lathrop and Monroe will face each other Tuesday at S. Davis at 5:30 p.m. to start the action. Wednesday, Lathrop will take on Delta at 5:30 p.m. at S. Davis, followed by West Valley vs. North Pole at 7:15 p.m.. West Valley will head to Wasilla on Friday while Lathrop will head to Colony for games at 5:30/7:15 p.m.. Saturday, Wasilla plays Lathrop, Colony plays West Valley, and Delta and Hutchison will face off at S. Davis in a double-header beginning at noon.
Finally, there’s the Ice Dogs. After splitting last week’s series with the Steel, the Dogs close out their regular season home schedule this week against Kenai River. Friday at 7:30 p.m. and Saturday at 7:30 p.m., the Dogs will take on the Brown Bears in an effort to secure home ice advantage in the playoffs. All tickets are currently sold out and concessions are no longer available. The Dogs will close out the regular season with a road trip to Kenai next week.
Well, unless I’m forgetting something (always possible), that’s it. Thanks for getting to the Hart of the Matter. If I forgot to mention something, forgive me. My memory hasn’t been so good since I took a frisbee to the face...allegedly.