Hart Pisani Mug


As a young lad, one of my favorite films of all time was the 2001 Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson classic Zoolander.

For those of you unfamiliar with it, Zoolander tells the story of disgraced male model Derek Zoolander and his attempts to foil an assassination attempt on the Prime Minister of Malaysia by fashion mogul Mugatu (played by Will Ferrell). If you think that sounds stupid, it’s because it is. Stupid ... and hilarious.

One of the most well-known scenes in the movie comes when Derek is planning to open, “The Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can’t Read Good and Who Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too.” Not knowing at the time that Mugatu is behind the assassination plot, Zoolander meets with him and sees Mugatu’s scale model for what he envisions the charity to look like. As Derek is an idiot, he doesn’t understand that the scale model is exactly that, and not the center itself.

“What is this?!” Derek demands before picking the model up and throwing it to the ground in anger. “A center for ants!?”

Mugatu is confused before Zoolander explains.

“How can we teach children how to read if they can’t even fit inside the building?” Zoolander asks. “It needs to be at least, three times this big!”

Mugatu is confused, the audience laughs, it’s a great time for everyone.

That takes us to this week’s Hart of the Matter: Read more. It’s summer. As a kid, we were required to read books over the summer. So engage your mind, try reading the local newspaper, heck maybe even read the sports section every once in a while. I heard there’s some pretty interesting stuff in there.

In case you couldn’t tell by this week’s Hart of the Matter, there’s not a lot going on. That doesn’t mean there isn’t plenty to be excited about, however.

The Alaska Goldpanners returned home last week for the first time in two years. This week, they remain at home all week long. Today, they continue their four-team tourney with a game against SD Waves at 8 p.m.. The tournament will conclude tomorrow when the ‘Panners take on OC Riptide at 8 p.m.. On Wednesday, Alaska will play the Waves again at 6:30 p.m. before playing a double-header Thursday against the American Legion All-Stars at 5:30 p.m. and the Waves at 7:30 p.m.. The ‘Panners will have one last game against the Waves on Friday at 7 p.m. before an off-day Saturday. Sunday they’ll begin their series against the Everett Merchants at 5 p.m..

Also going on this week is summer racing at Mitchell Raceway. Races will begin at 7 p.m. on Friday as they have the past two weeks. We’re also getting closer to the highly anticipated race involving former NASCAR driver Kenny Wallace. More on that closer to that date.

Not much else to reporter this week. Thanks for getting to the Hart of the Matter with me. If you think I missed anything, please make sure you read that all carefully.

Contact sports reporter Hart Pisani at 459-7530 or follow him at twitter.com/FDNMSports.