To the editor: I was thrilled to see that our governor was in Washington, D.C., last week sitting at Donnie Trump’s knee drooling on his shoes while the president slashed regulations. TrumpCo has finally given foreigners a pass to build a huge open pit mine overlooking Bristol Bay. Yippee! It makes me tingle just thinking about what it’ll be like when we get Pebble’s toxic waste leeching across the tundra. I’ll take my salmon (while it lasts) with a little arsenic, please.
Now that the wimpy state of Florida has passed on the Republican convention just because a few people got sick and died, why not have it here? The Republicans can use Anchorage’s vacant Copper River Seafood processing plant for their convention. No need for the Republicans to bring their own virus. It’s already there. Why not use this out-of-control spike in viral infections for the public good?
Of course, Alaska will need some of those anonymous federal Shock Troops like they have in Portland to round up the socialist protesters that will be drawn to a Republican convention like ravens to a dumpster. The socialists will be easy to identify with their face masks.
I encourage our tall governor in a hole to keep digging, as they say in the mining industry. These bold acts of leadership will deliver the final blows to the radical-socialist recall efforts led by those disgruntled un-Alaskan liberal transplants Usibelli, Fischer and Sturgulewski.