Notes from the Edge by travelingtweety
Dream big and dare to fail
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To Kill A Mockingbird
So I have to ask, have we made any progress in our relations with each other regardless of race, ethnicity or religion? To be sure there are no longer segregated buses, restraurants, bathrooms or water fountains. People are free to travel throughout the country without the concerns of being harassed solely based on race for the most part. But have we really reached a point of being an open society where a person is judged on his character rather than his skin color? I'm not so sure.
Reading the comments left on certain news articles it appears that we've made no progress whatsoever. I frequently see remarks that are racist and bigoted. I see little tolerance for another's heritage. And it bothers me that we, as a society, have made few advances.
I am Wonder Bread white - Norwegian, German, Scottish and English. The result of immigrants who left appalling conditions in Europe for a new start in America. My starting line in life was a lot farther along based solely on an accident of birth. The advantages of being white were not something I gave a great deal of thought to until I left home.
As I grew up moving around the U.S. as a child and teenager, we were exposed to all sorts of people from all walks of life. It wasn't until we moved from New Hampshire to Ft. Lauderdale that I began to realize prejudice and racism were very much alive in the South.
My high school was integrated but there was a lot of racial tension. There were few black teachers. One of the most influential teachers in my life was a black man. His history classes forced us to think, to look at the stereotypes, the racism, the bigotry as well as giving us a look into history from an entirely different view point - that of a minority. I wish I could thank him for the impact he had on my life.
As I read the news from across the U.S. and the world, it seems as if we are more divided than ever before. It feels as if the focus is on our differences more than our similarities. I have to wonder why? Is it because the focus on our differrences allows politicians to further their own personal agendas while the rest of us are busy calling each other names like playground bullies? Maybe I am naive in thinking that we can some day sit down together to work out the problems we are all facing.
On this Easter Sunday as I ponder the impact of such a strong film, it is my hope that each of us can begin to see past the color of our skin and our heritage to find the commonalities we all share. And that we all celebrate the Atticus Finchs in our lives and communities.
Mental Illness
For some of us the problems began as children in abusive households. For others the problems began later in life with a traumatic brain injury. The origins don't matter. What does is the day-to-day struggles of living when the pain of living is so intense that going to sleep and not waking up seems like a viable option
For those who live with major depressive disorder, life is a series of shades of gray. The worst part is knowing that life will always be tinted by those shades of gray no matter how much we pretend that nothing is wrong. There is always that hope that with the right mix of chemicals, our brains will function normally. That the shades of gray will change into the colours of the living, the colours of the normal.
The best thing that we can do for ourselves is to forgive, to protect ourselves from those who continue to hurt us or try to and to surround ourselves with peace and unconditional love.
It is in that unconditional love that we'll find the strength and the will to live one more day. To get up and keep putting one foot in front of the other no matter how much it hurts. It is the unconditional love that is our shield against the cruelty of the world and the stigma that follows us daily.
And for those of us who struggle to live every day to its fullest, it is that unconditional love that gives us the strength to keep moving even if it is a two steps backward and one step forward kind of day.
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May 02, 2012
Hi, I don't know you but I understand what you are saying. I just want to comment on this because, I felt cornered and out of place for a long time and as I asked questions of others I found that I'm not so diffrent after all!!!
The first thing that has helped me thru all the painful days is that unconditional love you were talking about. While I'am married and have children, I've found that the love from Savior Jesus, has surpassed all expectation. He is incredible. I've found that when I begin to walk in that tunnel thats very dark, I simpley ask Him to turn on the light and He does. I find that when the noise gets so loud that I sware you can see my ear drums pulsate with the noise, I ask Him to quiet my world to only hearing Him and His nature, and He does. When I find my self alone and afraid like someone knocking at my door and I'm afraid to get it, I ask Him to get that and He does. There is never a time that I can't speak to Him. His love for us is unconditional, never ending.
The first thing that has helped me thru all the painful days is that unconditional love you were talking about. While I'am married and have children, I've found that the love from Savior Jesus, has surpassed all expectation. He is incredible. I've found that when I begin to walk in that tunnel thats very dark, I simpley ask Him to turn on the light and He does. I find that when the noise gets so loud that I sware you can see my ear drums pulsate with the noise, I ask Him to quiet my world to only hearing Him and His nature, and He does. When I find my self alone and afraid like someone knocking at my door and I'm afraid to get it, I ask Him to get that and He does. There is never a time that I can't speak to Him. His love for us is unconditional, never ending.
The Lunch Bunch
So many of the group have become good friends, encouraging each other when times are tough, prodding each other to keep putting one foot in front of the other and providing a reality check that the world isn't going to hell in a handbasket.
Our experiences are vastly different as are our opinions, politics and religions. Somehow though, those things really don't matter when friends gather to eat and enjoy the company of others. What does matter is that we care for each other whether locally or long distance.
If you get a chance, please join us. I know that you'll find an eclectic group gathered to share a meal and laughter.
What's Your Point?
Guess what sweetie, you can't take it with you and it certainly won't buy you a slot in heaven. In fact according to Matthew 19:24 it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God. Or as Da Jesus Book says, I telling you guys one mo time, stay mo easy fo one camel go thru da puka inside one needle, den fo one rich guy fo get God in da sky fo his King. It's Hawaii Pidgin English and may be easier for you to understand.
As far as your remarks regarding the picture of Roger and me, you are an amateur when it comes to put downs, snide and cruel remarks. In the bigger scheme of things, your opinion means nothing to me. As you've based your judgement of us on our appearance, it only proves the shallowness of your character and inability to have compassion for others.
Personally I pity you and the qualities lacking in your soul. In order for you to feel good about yourself, you consistently hurt others or try to. No, you are not at all liked but rather tolerated like the weird relative that every family has. The kicker is that it is your own fault as you make no attempt to get along with anyone.
As for me, I am quite content with myself, my appearance, my spouse, my marriage, my friends and extended family. My life is full. Don't mistake my kindness for weakness. As ArcticeIceQueen recently said, "It is the weak who are cruel, and gentleness is to be expected only from the strong", Leo Rosten. In your case, truer words were never said.
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March 19, 2012
Thank you AussieAlaska, Sue and glacierguide for not only reading my blog but posting your comments as well.
No, Aussie, Granny is going to continue with her blog which is wonderful. Her experiences as a child are invaluable and are not something that should be lost. I'm glad that she is going to keep posting and sharing all those memories.
Please take care y'all
Pam
No, Aussie, Granny is going to continue with her blog which is wonderful. Her experiences as a child are invaluable and are not something that should be lost. I'm glad that she is going to keep posting and sharing all those memories.
Please take care y'all
Pam
SPAM Folder
When I first got my email, I received tons of SPAM for cheap dates, casual sexual encounters and emails from Nigeria.
Since that time, my SPAM emails have evolved to ads for ED products, scooters, social security information, AARP ads, information that will improve my digestive function and jobs that will make me a millionaire working from home.
What happened to the ads for cheap, casual sex? The Nigerians must have quit writing after realizing that I'm a middle class American with no extra money to finance an extravagant lifestyle. The only thing missing are ads for denture adhesives. I'm just waiting for those to appear. Well those and the ads for undergarments that I'll soon need every time I sneeze, cough or laugh.
My SPAM folder is aging so I guess I am too. Damn.
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March 09, 2012
Hehehe! I like this, TT. My spam kinda runs like yours except more recently I have received a lot for penis enlargement and Viagara deals - afraid, I'm not suitable :-D Well, it is spam after all. Might catch up with you sometime in June. Cheers!
My Best Buddy
Relaxing
Hanging Out
She is a blonde version of my Muttley - always close, so totally tuned into my feelings and moods that she knows before I do when I need her comfort.
Bubbles who was originally named Astrid is the stereotype of every blonde joke told. She does blonde very well. Always within reach or touching me, she is my shadow, my strength when the world gets to be a bit much. She is the definition of unconditional love and I belong to her. When I have to leave her home, she mopes and lays by whatever door I left out of until I return. When I magically reappear, it's a reunion full of goldie bouncing, spinning and unbridled joy that I am back where she can watch over me.
She sleeps with me, cuddled up as close as she can get. If Roger isn't in bed, then we often share a pillow after I fall asleep. There is something disconcerting waking up to a cold nose on my cheek. Or worse, dog breath and her deep, rhythmic snoring in my ear.
Bubbles is my best friend, my keeper and my guardian.
The In-Between Season
In New Hampshire they don't have Break Up, they have mud season. I like Break Up better even though we have some mud, it's not the same. Break Up means that Winter's stranglehold on the area is slipping fast. We know that we've survived another Alaskan winter and our gift for toughing it out is just around the corner. I always know Break Up is fast approaching when my PO box is stuffed with seed catalogs from all over the Lower 48. I fall asleep with dreams of warm, dark earth on my hands as I drift off with rows of peas and potatoes dancing in my head like sugar plums.
It's that in-between season when you're still wearing your Sorel boots, shorts and a t-shirt. It's the in-between season when you start switching the heavy duty survival gear out of the vehicle in favor of survival supplies geared more to camping or an inpromptu BBQ. It's in-between season when you roll down the window at the bank drive-in and while waiting for your transaction to be processed, you leave the window down because it is warmer outside with the sun shining on your face than it is inside the truck.
I love the in-between season.
Aurora Magic
So in late August 2003, I was headed back to Alaska with a man I barely knew. My family and my friends thought I was nuts making major, life-changing decisions when I had been slammed so hard already by life. My family had all the information of where I would eventually be but I have to admit that when we were passing through very rural and empty open spaces, there were times when I wondered if I was sitting next to the John Robinson of the North.
I knew I was doing the right thing as the farther north we got, the better I felt. We stopped in Greenwood, Nebraska so I could say good-bye to my Dad and Grandma Ruby. I told them I was leaving and that I wasn't sure I would ever get back. Touching the cold tombstones barely warmed by the Nebraska sun one last time, I walked away tears streaming down my cheeks. The recent death of my father left a dad-sized hole in my heart. As I walked away, I heard him ask me one last time his famous three questions; Would I ever get this opportunity again? Would I regret not going? Could I live with the "what if" for the rest of my life if I didn't take the chance. He already knew the answers and so did I.
After a stop in South Dakota at the Chief Crazy Horse monument, we started to put lots of distance between us and the Lower 48. One late, dark night as we were in the middle of nowhere Montana, I saw a little green ribbon undulating through the inky blackness. I wasn't sure but it looked like a little aurora. Roger also spotted it at the same time. Asking if I wanted to stop, we found a pull out to somebody's fields and parked.
There it was, my dear friend from the north. The aurora exploded and danced overhead beckoning me to keep going north to follow it back home. I don't know how long we stood out there in the middle of nowhere but as the aurora faded, the last colors disappearred into the dark, northern sky. I knew then that no matter what happened in the future, I was headed in the right direction. I was headed home. And I was.
The aurora holds a special place in my heart. It was the confirmation that I needed to know that I was doing the right thing following my heart. It's chased us out of Denali National Park on the last night of the road lottery as the witching hour of midnight approached for us to be back across the Savage RIver bridge. I've watched the aurora dance over Kaktovik while polar bears gathered to devour the remains of the day's whale catch. It's mesmermized me in Barrow while I was there in August to photograph birds before they began their migrations south.
The aurora is unpredictable. When it's supposed to appear, it frequently doesn't. And then it will burst overhead on nights when the conditions aren't favorable for its appearance. It's fickle, seductive and alluring. It was my welcome home to a place that my heart knew I belonged to.
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February 27, 2012
Pam, You have a wonderful with words.And i feel the same as You do about the aurora and This unbelieviable Land. Keep them coming.
Terry
Terry
Notes From the Edge
Also, I'm probably the only person in your life who really knows just how shy you really are. And how difficult it is for you to make new friends, it's as if you need to see what kind of a person that they are before letting them get close to you.
However, you will reach out a helping hand to anyone in need no matter the colour of their skin or anything else about them. You are also the finest person that I've ever known in my life. And I love you with all of me just because you are who your are.