Why? 

Why?, asked I

Because came the reply

I don’t understand, with tears in my voice

With patience it said simply, In most things you have a choice 

I never chose to live in fear

All I wanted was to be loved and held dear.

I never chose to be torn apart

To suffer the pain of a broken heart 

Time and again, I learned to be small

To be quiet and not draw attention at all

I thought this was normal in every house

Where children moved around quiet as a mouse

These are the things from day one I learned

Where is the love, the peace I earned?

These are the seeds that were sown

Where is the relief now that I’m grown?

It’s in your heart and your soul

To mend the fractures, grow and be whole.

It’s your choice to let go of the rage

Especially now as you age. 

And now that you’re grown

You can choose to reap the seeds that were sown

Or you can choose to live

To love, and to give.

Now it’s your decision

To live a life of rigid precision

Or live a life full of grace and free

To be the best you, you can be. 

It really is your choice

Said the still, quiet voice

To live as you love

Knowing you are precious to One above.

Falling into Winter is such a short season.  Summer tools are stored away and the winter tools are brought out of storage - leaf blower aka snow blower, shovels, and ice melt for the sidewalks.  Boiler and Toyo stove cleaned and tuned. Wood stove and boiler stacks cleaned along with the dryer vent. Garage door checked for air leaks and adjusted.  Dead leaves shoved into biodegradable bags and the garden harvested and prepped for the Spring.

We all know that it is coming. The nights are colder and the birds are headed south. The cats are now actively seeking out warm laps to rest in or fighting over the best place in front of the Toyo when it is running.  The smalles cat, Niblet is aggressively demanding to get in the bedroom and under the covers next to a warm body where she can put her cold paws against my warm back.  I don't mind the cold paws but her contented drooling leaves a cold wet spot for me to roll into.

I look around and see things that still need to be done before snow arrives. Bikes need to be moved to the greenhouse while I scrounge up all the extension cords.  Plug-ins need to be connected, times set and timers adjusted.  More caulking around windows and insulation installed under the window box. Emergency supplies and cold weather gear still needs to be pulled out and put in the truck, just in case.

More than anything it is as if time is slowing down as Winter approaches and we head into the Long Dark.  Winter, for me, is a time for reflection and recuperation from the schizofrantic activity of Summer.  It is a time for gratitude in all the things that keep us warm, food grown and stored.  It is a time for planning new adventures, digging out the snowshoes and moving summer clothes out of the way for winter clothes.  It is a time for planning to find all the activities that keep cbain fever at bay.  A time for planning lat night drives out of town to watch the aurora dance seductively overhead knowing that we can always sleep later.

Winter. That slow time between the frenzy of Fall and Summer.

American Veterans.  What do they deserve to be "given" by the VA or the government?  Appliances to make their lives easier after they've lost their independence due to their injuries?  "Free" medical care?  Compensation?  Education?

Let me set the record the straight.  Veterans aren't given anything.  They have to fight for everything they receive from the VA, whether it is compensation for the loss of a limb, eyesight or the traumas of PTSD that haunt their dreams and waking hours.  Veterans have to establish a legitimate claim regarding their losses.  For many, the fight to establish a claim is just too much for them to handle.  And even if they are lucky enough to be admitted to the system, the fight isn't over.  In fact, it is often just the beginning of a lifelong battle to get the care and items they need to lead somewhat normal lives.

And yes, every soldier, every veteran knows the risks that they are signing up for whether they were drafted or enlisted.  They understand the oath and the consequences and gravity of the oath they take.  How many of us are willing to take to an oath that could ultimately result in our death or a life of pain?  How many of us are willing to be sent to hostile territories where it seems as if every person is determined to kill or maim us?  How many of us are willing to stand up and go where we are ordered regardless of the consequences?  Damn few.

So for those of you who feel that veterans shouldn't complain about the "gifts" they receive from the VA, try waking up knowing that every day you are going to be in pain - excruciating pain.  Try dealing with insensitive bureaucrats who really don't give a crap because they are only filling a slot.  Try living a life limited to the confines of your home because you aren't able to walk far enough to get beyond those walls.

Try walking a mile in the shoes of a wounded warrior and then tell me how grateful we should be for the gifts we receive from the VA.

Whatever happened to kindness?  It seems to have died along with common courtesy and compassion.  I often wonder if the advent of the internet and its ability to conceal who we are that allows us to attack without having a public, face-to-face confrantation.  Or have we just become a world that truly no longer cares about anyone other than ourselves?

I don't understand the anger and hatred expressed by so many for people they don't know and have never met.  I don't understand those who are quick to judge or criticize someone who's path they have not walked.  Maybe I am simply naive in my thinking that we should live by the Golden Rule.  Or maybe I just a romantic who believes that I am my brothers keeper.